Poems

One day, I rode to the fields of Candon

Father, grandfather, grey backpack in tow

Northward through Luzon, on the bus Dominion

Twelve years removed; yes, twelve years from "home"

Twelve years from a country I no longer know

There I felt sheer awe at my ancestors' land

Wind brushing past hair, caressing each strand

Saw green fields nested with Narras and Santols

Saw the same evergreen stretch to mountains so tall

There I took my breaths from the fresh province air

Met uncles and aunts with much food to share

Tinola, pinapaitan, dinakdakan, and more

Mangoes picked that same day, nasimut to the core

At ang aking mga kapwa; yes, my people divine

Carrying proud, noble faces, though life was unkind

Somehow still find every reason to smile

With grins and hands open; beautiful, rich brown skin

They'll welcome you, feed you, and share stories for a while

Yet in Perth and Brisbane, one would scarcely find

A tanned, sunkissed face that looked quite like mine

Yet here in the province, as I walked through these streets

I found that most everyone looked quite like me

And it struck me so deep, how fortune so spins

That if fate had been different, and I'd remained with my kin

That if here in Pilipinas this young man did stay

Would I have looked on at Ilocos' raw beauty

With the same awe I carried that May?

Yet even here, I was but a stranger

Naive Manila — no, Perth city boy

What did I know of this world where the farmers so toiled?

Working the fields by the sweat of their brow

Bringing rice back to family what their work can allow

Yet the thought ever lingers of a simpler life

The simple joys that emerge with strife

"So long as I can come home to my children and wife"

The blessing of community, far removed from the West

Far removed from material, from capital, and the rest

Far removed from hierarchies written in sand

Far removed from consumption and the hoarding of land

Far removed from the colonists' legacy of greed

From the ivory towers academia conceived

Tadhana, fate — most curious thing indeed

I know I'd never trade my Western life hereon

For twenty-four years amongst the fields of Candon

Up the hills in scenic Baguio, nor in homely La Union

Amongst the Akasyas where the cocks crow at dawn

Where this naive mind was, at once, struck and drawn

Though, I'll never forget how sweet the mangoes were

Nor the care and warmth of family

Who'd love me through to the ends of the earth

Take me home to you; I'll hold your memory tight

And I promise to return again, when the time is right

I'm so proud of you

Precious little one

And all you've yet to achieve

Take to the skies

Bask in the sun

With wings you've yet to receive

When you first learn to love

And in turn, learn to lose

I may not be there by your side

To wipe the tears from your eyes

Yet when the storm subsides

Recall you'll always find

The home mum and I built

In the quiet of your mind

Tall, strong, and brave

Once more, you'll rise

With a dawn-filled sky

And I promise one day

As you read these lines

My love, everything will be fine

I'll teach you so many cool things

We'll wash dishes to Chopin

Sprinkle pecorino over shakshuka

Read Tolkien and Dostoevksy

I'll teach you

How to breathe when you need

How to breathe to be still

How to breathe for clarity

You'll learn to defend your thesis

How to express yourself clearly

Even when it's daunting

How to garner respect

With your composure

And choice of words

How to be brave

When it hurts to talk

Or even look at him

I'll teach you

About the songs of our ancestors

Homo sapiens sapiens

And how we've laughed and cried

For a long, long time

So remember to be kind

Look people in the eye

Choose your friends

And love scarce but free

I'll teach you

About the gods and goddesses

And all their silly mistakes

You can even pick your favourites

And I'll teach you, little goddess

That the universe owes you nothing

Except time and space

Let me float peacefully

I beg with insistence

Let the grains of the field

Sustain my subsistence

To Death's creeping tendrils

I show no resistance

Let the selfish mind drown

In its own cursed wisdom

No goal is too far

To cover the distance

So I dance under strange stars

Toward that dark kingdom

Where the grass is as long

As the flowers that kiss them

Where no thieves lie in wait

No noise of dissidence

No crowns, no heirlooms

No quarrels over precedence

Naught but the sweet sound

Of euphoric inexistence

One day, when my mother dies

My tears will surely fall

When she never wakes

From that dreary embrace

She may never feel my own

But on that day, I hope and pray

There is some untold peace

That though this life

Was filled with strife

Her son had loved her most

Look for me in the sunsets

When the skies turn orange-pink

Look for me in autumn's scent

In streets of gum and mint

I'll wait amongst our cherished stars

Above Nullarbor, by the sea

This endless, foreign plain

Once barren, far, and strange

Now precious to you and me

Yet you'll find me atop

Those high green peaks

Where my ancestors roamed free

Find me in the summer breeze

And the roots of mango tress

Find me where we promised

And etched our names in stone

Find me in the ebb and flow

Of the ocean, deep and slow

Find me in the silence

When the world is still and hushed

Find me in the deafening roar

Of the rivers when they rush

When you feel you can move mountains

I'll burn with the fire in your eyes

I'll echo along the tenor of your heart

And the symphony of your cries

When horizon meets dark water's edge

And night seems darker still

Search for me in Orion's belt

And I promise you, you will

Find me in those unfinished books

Lofty poems I'd yet to write

In the taste of home; of coconuts

In the blur 'tween black and white

When the world is quiet

And dark sea is still

At times, one can hear

Sirens call from afar

For whom do they beckon?

From whence do they sing?

What devious pasts

Do their melodies bring?

Did Odysseus weep nights

When perchance he recalled

Their songs in the light

Some silent cry to the gods

To bring deathly crooning

Poisoned rose from the deep

To serenade at last

His soul to sleep

Maybe we can stay

On the surface, perhaps

Deft as your thoughts

Soft as your hands

Waves on waves

Upon each caress

Reflecting on eyes

Visions of glassier spires

That someday we may share

So tell me your secrets

On eves of this dusk

And by ebb and flow

I'll tell you my own

When the colonists

Met the tribes

Staring

With empty eyes

At times, one wonders

What did they see?

Perhaps not quite

Vivid souls as they

But black and white

As night to day

At times, one wonders

How many lives

Could have been saved

If they only chose

To see past the grey

When Helios rests

Down to the west

An afterglow remains

Radiant hue

For all to view

Beauty in its frame

When sun has set

As Poseidon sighs

Dying colours

Roll off deep blue sky

Years from now

When you see the glow

Perhaps you'll somehow find

Some film prints

Dusty, old

And recall, one time

You and I were there

To bask in the shine

Of fading orange gold

In this vast dark

An empty mind

I held a candle

Against the deep

No echoes to mark

Each careful step

No peaceful rest

Nor sleep

I do not know

What I feared more

Empty swelling tide

Or that not brought to fore

Something darker lurking still

Or the candle's dying will

Look at my eyes

As the skies collapse

That I may behold

The stars in your gaze

Pure as dewdrops

On eves of Spring

Desire as tragic

As Icarus' wings

Speak in your Form

The purest of all

Burning bright amidst the fall

For the squeeze of a palm

Caress of a cheek

Presence so fleeting

Let the world be destroyed

For a moment

In your being

Falling backwards

Into the abyss

I beg for an audience

Before death's mists

Before unending bliss

Perhaps a glimpse

Some sign of you

Answer me from the depths

A look, a touch

Even a sound

To fill this silence

So loud

I sat across three boys

Private garb, pale hands

On the seat adjacent

Three similar children

Lifeblood in this land

The former reserved

The latter loud

Cursing every third word

Within this small space

Harking to bygone days

An entire past unknown

This contrast so strong

No fault of their own

Yet for history's wrongs

The divergence was clear

Their paths will never cross

Save within this train, here

It's curious how some

Value places over people

When even such force

Is mustered for some

Line in the sand

Though what else

Can quite bring

The value of a place

As when the spaces

We reserve for those

Not easily forgotten

Appear empty

Years ago I visited Liverpool on exchange. On a summer evening – one of our first nights there – my dormmates and I walked to the river Mersey and watched the sun set over Albert Dock. It was a breath of fresh air for a year that started out incredibly dark. To this day, I still remember it as one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen.

Vivid blue spanning the skies above

And layered clouds, like a wake or trail

A river, deep, and cobblestone roads

And fences with lovelocks on its rails

The smell of freedom and lust for youth

A longing for experience anew

A glimpse of what life could have been

And what life is for the privileged few

Across purple skies at the river's mouth

Thus welcoming Apollo's touch

A painting embedded in the mind of one

Who once more yearns to see as much

They say night is coldest

Just before dawn

So one must be boldest

When waking upon

Empty bed, empty sheets

Yes, an emptier soul

For little else can treat

That spiral to a hole

But the sun its glory

And a warm sign of home

So tell me a story

And I'll share you my own

Of resilience unspoken

And a young man's sojourn

To fix what was broken

To heal what was burned

Whether pride or dignity

Or honour unearned

Scars hardened from sorrow

From a fire long past

As he hopes for tomorrow

And in time, peace at last

Wrote this one after graduating Honours.

Here I stand

With the dip of a hat

Shake of a hand

The world widens

The story writes itself

And the deed is done

An achievement scrawled

On some piece of paper

Acknowledging some greater

Potential

It seems the world ends up deserving

Only what we choose to give

Two lonely souls

A pair of warm bodies

Find comfort, entwined

In the quiet of night

The awe of a spark

Makes the dark not so dark

As clasped arms

And slow breaths

Remind both

That they are

When listening is no more

When prompts met with "what for?"

When spending time feels like a chore

A slow hurt that stings and burns

Stray emotions stir and churn

No longer the company you yearn

What was never fixed can't be broken

What pain sleeps that's now awoken

And all's left are gifts and tokens

The tearing of two worlds from one

The same words echo from beyond

We had our time in the sun

I think we had a good run

Feel the air from your breath

Kiss the top of your lip

And listen to the world

Breathe with you

Look beyond closed eyes

Let enlightenment in

Listen to the child within you

When the quiet is nigh

And your thoughts are a river

Remember your why and how

As life passes by

Let stillness come hither

Find peace in being here now