Poems

One day, I rode to the fields of Candon

Father, grandfather, grey backpack in tow

Northward through Luzon, on the bus Dominion

Twelve years removed; yes, twelve years from "home"

Twelve years from a country I no longer know

There I felt sheer awe at my ancestors' land

Wind brushing past hair, caressing each strand

Saw green fields nested with Narras and Santols

Saw the same evergreen stretch to mountains so tall

There I took my breaths from the fresh province air

Met uncles and aunts with much food to share

Tinola, pinapaitan, dinakdakan, and more

Mangoes picked that same day, nasimut to the core

At ang aking mga kapwa; yes, my people divine

Carrying proud, noble faces, though life was unkind

Somehow still find every reason to smile

With grins and hands open; beautiful, rich brown skin

They'll welcome you, feed you, and share stories for a while

Yet in Perth and Brisbane, one would scarcely find

A tanned, sunkissed face that looked quite like mine

Yet here in the province, as I walked through these streets

I found that most everyone looked quite like me

And it struck me so deep, how fortune so spins

That if fate had been different, and I'd remained with my kin

That if here in Pilipinas this young man did stay

Would I have looked on at Ilocos' raw beauty

With the same awe I carried that May?

Yet even here, I was but a stranger

Naive Manila — no, Perth city boy

What did I know of this world where the farmers so toil?

Working the fields by the sweat of their brow

Bringing rice back to family what their work can allow

Yet the thought ever lingers of a simpler life

The simple joys that emerge with strife

"So long as I can come home to my children and wife"

The blessing of community, far removed from the West

Far removed from material, from capital, and the rest

Far removed from hierarchies written in sand

Far removed consumption and the hoarding of land

Far removed from the colonists' legacy of greed

From the ivory towers academia conceived

Tadhana, fate — most curious thing indeed

I know I'd never trade my Western life hereon

For twenty-four years amongst the fields of Candon

Up the hills in scenic Baguio, nor in homely La Union

Amongst the Akasyas where the cocks crow at dawn

Where this naive mind was, at once, struck and drawn

Though, I'll never forget how sweet the mangoes were

Nor the care and warmth of family

Who'd love me through to the ends of the earth

Take me home to you; I'll hold your memory tight

And I promise to return again, when the time is right

I'm so proud of you

Precious little one

And all you've yet to achieve

Take to the skies

Bask in the sun

With wings you've yet to receive

When you first learn to love

And in turn, learn to lose

I may not be there by your side

To wipe the tears from your eyes

Yet when the storm subsides

Recall you'll always find

The home mum and I built

In the quiet of your mind

Tall, strong, and brave

Once more, you'll rise

With a dawn-filled sky

And I promise one day

As you read these lines

My love, everything will be fine

I'll teach you so many cool things

We'll wash dishes to Chopin

Sprinkle pecorino over shakshuka

Read Tolkien and Dostoevksy

I'll teach you

How to breathe when you need

How to breathe to be still

How to breathe for clarity

You'll learn to defend your thesis

How to express yourself clearly

Even when it's daunting

How to garner respect

With your composure

And choice of words

How to be brave

When it hurts to talk

Or even look at him

I'll teach you

About the songs of our ancestors

Homo sapiens sapiens

And how we've loved, laughed, and cried

For a long, long time

So remember to be kind

Look people in the eye

Choose your friends

And love scarce but free

I'll teach you

About the gods and goddesses

And all their silly mistakes

You can even pick your favourites

And I'll teach you, little goddess

That the universe owes you nothing

Except time and space

Let me float peacefully

I beg with insistence

Let the grains of the field

Sustain my subsistence

To Death's creeping tendrils

I show no resistance

Let the selfish mind drown

In its own cursed wisdom

No goal is too far

To cover the distance

So I dance under strange stars

Toward that dark kingdom

Where the grass is as long

As the flowers that kiss them

Where no thieves lie in wait

No noise of dissidence

No crowns, no heirlooms

No quarrels over precedence

Naught but the sweet sound

Of euphoric inexistence

One day, when my mother dies

My tears will surely fall

When she never wakes

From that dreary embrace

She may never feel my own

But on that day, I hope and pray

There is some untold peace

That though this life

Was filled with strife

Her son had loved her most